40 days and 40 nights + 325

Exactly a year ago today, I began the journey that continues to be an adventure of growth, discovery, and transformation. Yesterday, incredibly, and without my consciously realizing its relationship to last year's journey, I began a 10-day kitchari fast. I'm not sure I would have begun yesterday if not for a dear friend and soul sister asking me if I had any interest in joining her on a fast/cleanse. I'd been thinking about doing another one -- using it as a kind of "re-boot" because I've been revisiting old, less-than-healthful ways I have with food -- but I hadn't really settled on when to do it. Her invitation opened the door and we agreed to start on 8/8/2011. The numerology felt right and neither of us could think of a reason that the Mercury Retrograde would make this harder.

And so, last night, when I made an effort to post a blog entry here, I discovered the synchronicity of the timing (is that a redundancy?). I thought to pick the blog back up when I recalled how grounding, how steadying it was, and how posting entries here helped me to remain conscious during the nearly six weeks of the rigorous practice of feeding myself in ways I never had. I thought it would be good to again give myself this container. And so here I am. Day 2.

This year, I'm having to kick caffeine and sugar, which I didn't last year. Where last year I felt mentally "sharper" on day 2, today...not so much. But I do feel lighter, easier in the rest of my body. Last year on day 2, I'd put my back out shlepping jars of kitchari that I'd prepared in my friend Grace's kitchen. Incredibly, I was again at Grace's this past weekend, and I again made kitchari. This time, though, I gave what was left of it to her, came home, and made a fresh batch. So, different challenges -- last year the back, this year, the caffeine withdrawal. And, truth be told, as I write this at 1:30pm, I no longer have the headache. One little excedrin at 2:30 this morning seems to have gotten me over the hump. I seem to need to be less strict this year. Last year, I wouldn't have taken excedrin. Interesting altogether. My commitment in life remains to work for the Repair of the Planet. Last year, I came to understand that I had been willing to abuse my body in parallel ways to how the Earth is abused. The 40-day fast was a commitment to the Earth Mother to tread lightly, live simply, and practice the Repair of the World in the big and small acts of practicing the Repair of my body. Over the counter drugs seems like a bit of compromise there. But for whatever reason I could manage it last year, I could. Hopefully, I will take the lesson and move on. I'm spending less time in guilt or even shame. Clarissa Pinkola Estes says in A Dangerous Old Woman that "Wisdom is what works." She goes on to say that what works changes either in the very next moment or over longer periods of time. I like this teaching. It allows for an excedrin.

Another teacher for me today is Eve Ensler. This is intense, but very valuable. Click Here for an amazing TED talk.

Blessings on you all! Thanks for reading!